I might walk back there one day.
Stand outside my apartment door. Look at a lurid lipstick print on a pale blue door. The walls steeped in nicotine stains and eau de Indian food. Pass through the doorway, pass through time. No blinds on the window, no curtains covering the panelled walls. Stand on the carpet look to your right at the crucifix that isn't there and the bland beige furniture that likely has several stains and the coffee table which no longer holds a deck of cards whose queen of clubs is sticky with vodka and orange juice. There are no palm prints from the latest round of egyptian rat screw. watching the television that is no longer there, indefinitely tuned to a fuzzy PBS.
The lamps have gone.
Through the door to the place where through the wall you heard the neighbors fucking with a fury, at two in the afternoon. Lay on the bed, without sheets, and the plastic covered matress sticks to your arms and threatens to suffocate you as you sleep. Your PMC ashtray, no bigger than your thumb, no longer lays on the fauxrble sill. The red carpet is no longer fluffy, but dingey and scratchy. The walls where you hung your posters bare. The places the marker bled through holding no sign of what used to be. The cds on the dresser are no longer yours. The wax molds of your hands are gone, broken when you moved, before you moved really. The bootlaces are untied from the bed frame. Your clothes no longer hang in the closet.
Down the hall to the next bedroom, directly across from the bathroom. Ryan is no longer in there. He too must have finally grown up. So dark in his room. Always so dark there. I remember little of his furnishings, the fluffy blue and black comfortor, and the TarZan outfit...yeah, don't kneel down to tie your Nike.
The bathroom with the weird hole beneath the cabinet. Would have been a great place to hide. Not anymore, someone else's soapscum and spare hair litter the floor now. The green towel no longer hangs on the rack, the strawberry suave shampoo is gone.
Your life is no longer here.
The tile in the kitchen is still yellow, there is a table now. The stove is the same. And the curious smell from the cabinet above.
I have to step back to the present now, the image grows smaller as i finish the lines. It's time to go forward...
- Current Music:soldier on-Oasis
Floral stems (for my centerpieces, I used white daisy stems, with 2.5" heads, 4-5 heads per stem, and purple stems with 2.5" heads, 6 heads/stem)
Foam half ball-4" diameter
Plastic spider rings
Mod Podge(or white glue of choice)
Martha Stewart Glitter in shades of purple and green
9" inch(ish) vases(I got mine from Goodwill, they don't all match, but they were like $.50/ea)
12" wide spool of tulle
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- Current Location:Home
- Current Music:Guy on animal planet playing with lions
my sister squirted out her kid yesterday morning. and she named him jerricho xaiver (pronounced xavier, she just misspelled it-spelling is not one of her strengths)
cliffy and i are going home for a family reunion next weekend, and there will be nine people in out 3 br house. yes, thats what i said, nine. NINE. parents, brither, sister, offspring, dad's friend and his lady, plus cliff and me. im seriously considering staying at grandma's. she has lots of space.
ive been working on things for halloween. so far i have cliff's shirt, most of his doublet, my rosary, aaaaand thats about it. i do have my skirt mostly cut out. one of these days when i get some time, i will finish cliff's doublet then work on y skirt next. after that, im torn between doing his pants or more of my costume. i think his pants would be the better, that way all i have left to do for him would be his hat and jewellry. i have so much work to do for my costume...and will anyone have any idea about who i am? probably not. noone cares about por bloody mary i of england, shes always overshadowed by her sister elizabeth...sigh.
i got the forst installment of my pe study materials yesterday. they sent out a book friday, but it was the wrong one, so i had to send it back, and its replacement is the one i got, so yay! i get to study geotechnical engineering.
they say genius borders insanity, right? well, im borderline genius, so does that mean that i am already insane, or is genius more that just a line? i would think that it is a polygon, what, with supergenius, insanity, and gifted(and who knows what else) being bordertowns.
alternately, if i am on the boundary of gifted/genius as well as insane, am i at some sort of 3 point corner?
that was random...but thats not whats pushing today.
I work as an engineer and frequently i have to do some surveying/stake out work as well. (really wish we employed a ps so i could get my ps when i go for my pe, btw) stakes, to equiment operators are nothing more than target practice. it doesnt matter who tells them to be careful, be it the supervisor, engineer, other operators, the stakes will be taken out.
the superintendant on this construction site asked me(last week) to put in a few offset stakes in one area where some work will be done. the work we do requires a honeycomb-style layout, where each hole is marked with a stake, then drilled with a very large drill(10' diam) i like this layout, it makes sense to me. it makes me feel special because other people get confused by it. Anyway, i put in my offsets. They then excavated the entire area, which was not too bad, they saved all but one of my 8 stakes. actually damn good for 2 excavators and a bulldozer.
yesterday, they wanted an indication of where the boundary of this particular drilling area were. he told me a paint line would do, so i assumed the worst, and just used some cheap wire pin flags to mark the outermost holes. ok, they said, i thought no more of this layout. until this morning...
amy, can you lay out those holes again? sure, and ill put more offsets in so layout later will be super easy (can not lay out any more than one row of holes at a time, as thats just stake suicide!) ok, sounds good. everyone was happy with this situation until we got ready to go. they dug it out too low! were too close to the water table. fill it back in(losing several stakes in the process, as well as all offsets) damn. then i was asked to do it all again. and again. an again. today...blah.
- Current Location:work
- Current Mood: cranky
- Current Music:vampire-skrewdriver